a colored spectrum

whatever in my eyes

i'll cry you a river,
when love turned into hatred and contempt.
let me be the hurricane that ruins your life,
sending emotional turmoils that spins out of control.
i wish i was the ravaging jetstream that rips through your heart.
may you live in that spinning vortex for eternity.
once it was love and attraction.
then it was irritance and frustration.
resigned to fate i now am.
monotonous co-existence without a deeper meaning.
from your hugs i shun. your kisses i do not cherish.
skin on skin, so close yet so far the minds and souls are apart.

call me a black widow,
for that fatal bite. curse me, i am small.
so small yet fatally toxic. le femme fatale.
the smirk in my face, i pity you.
i hate you. i hate myself. i hate the world.
i hate you. you and you.
trust no one except yourself.
life is bitter. yet live life.
deceive yourself and worship me.
worship money, worship God.

kill yourself. kill me.
suicide is a mortal sin, condemed to infernal hell after Judgement Day will be.
getting smashed by a car is just an 'accident'. golden gates Heaven you will see.
money talks. love is just an empty word.
without money, there is no talk.
love is just a reciprocal gift exchanged for the goodness of money.
it's ultimately a material world.
i am a material girl. you are material too. fuck you.
upset i am with the world, with all its injustice and inequalities.
i question the existence of that kind gracious omnipotent God.
deep furious hatred in a nuke bomb is my gift to this worthless world.
one man's terrorist is another's freedom fighter.
politics rule global aid supply. all part of a larger game.
exploit the young and nubile, exploit the cheap resources in the Third World.
guzzle fuel our Mercedes Benz. Las Vegas's running on 3 times the energy USA needs.
as the urban lounge music plays in the background,
as we toast to our chilled poisons.
may we burn in acidic infernal flames after death.
ash to ash, dust to dust.
devils we all are, the child of Satan.
in the temple of sins we find rest and play.

love me not. hate me not. Fuck you i say.
let me be the passing mirage in your life.
forget me, as i will too.
nothing in this life is worth remembering,
that's why i have forgotten what brings me enjoyment.
i no longer know myself. i no longer know what makes me happy.

marriage is just an institutional policy.
call it a cheat. i believe in divorces and alimony.
singlehood is synonymous with freedom.
responsible to no one, obligate to none.
no spouse, no in-laws and no kids.
i just love me live alone, and be me.
i have the entire bed to myself.
hassle free is singlehood.

let me live and i will live good.
put you to shame i will.
loser i am not one. loser you are.
harp on your friends' achievement for none of them are yours.
guilty you should be for not being as driven as they are.
envy why not.
envy them for that young successes.
despise you is what i will do.
for you only know how to pin accolades on others than work for one yourself.
L-O-S-E-R.

so you think your jokes are funny and your popularity is high.
rethink reality i say to you.
do you think people really cherish you for who you are,
or you're a pathetic sucker being sucked into a game?
i find no answers yet. i was one too some time not too long ago.
a helpless pawn being moved around in a game i didn;t realize was played.
men are nothing but bastards. all of them they are. except to varying degrees.
men love pretty babes, female flesh and a good wet shag.
women are alwiz in for the money. survival i heard it was termed.
sex, drugs and lies. it makes all of us happy.
all of us are playing a game.
truthful we are, only to ourselves while hidden behind the shadows of the moonlight.
our hidden agenda, so few knows.
the bright cheerful face eluded is after all a painted on facade.
every relationship is a well calculated transaction of how much to give and receive.
naive and innocence are the two leading qualities to elimination from the human race.

a dog is better than a man.
dogs are faithful and loving.
men are cheap.

posted by Veen @ 14:30